|
Christmas 1995 was a joyous
occasion. David, John and I went to London to spend Christmas with Vincent and
his family; I didn’t realise at the time that it would be the last time we would
spend Christmas together. On Christmas morning David and I went for a walk
whilst John and Vincent prepared the meal. It was a lovely morning, cold, brisk
but the sun was shining and the air was clear. We walked for miles, talking and
laughing, with a special closeness between us. We discussed a forthcoming
holiday that John and I intended taking on 4th January, we were going
on a Round the World tour to celebrate John’s retirement. That Christmas
morning walk will remain as one of my most precious memories. There was no
warning of the tragedy that would occur in a few weeks time.
David died on 23rd January 1996. He was 33 years of
age. John and I were in South Island, New Zealand, when Vincent telephoned to
say that David had died. We couldn’t believe that our beautiful, super-fit,
athletic son had died so suddenly. On the previous day he had gone to work as
usual, he returned home at 23.00 hours, made himself a drink and went to bed.
He died at 03.20 hours, his battery clock, which was on the bedside table had
been knocked onto the floor and stopped at that time. David’s girl friend
Laura, who lived next door, realised that his curtains were closed and found him
twelve hours later. David died of Obstructive Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM)
which is the most common cause of sudden cardiac death. It is hard to accept
that our lovely, caring son has gone from our lives forever. His death
devastated our family and his many friends.
David’s death left us completely shocked; bewildered and with
feelings of guilt. I kept asking myself why I hadn’t noticed that there was
something wrong. Were there signs and symptoms that I had overlooked? He had
been such a healthy child, strong and robust, always the tallest in his class
and very keen on sports and athletics. He loved rugby and captained the school
rugby team. He played for Tamworth Colts and was selected to play for
Staffordshire Schoolboys. He enjoyed swimming, tennis and squash; was a
motorcycle enthusiast, and would think nothing of cycling 40 miles after a hard
day’s work. He also had a wonderful personality, loved animals and all
humanity, he would fight for the under-dog and hated injustice. He was popular
with all who knew him.
Two years after David’s death a friend sent me a newspaper
cutting out of the Birmingham Mail. It showed a picture of Roy Ball and gave
information regarding his involvement with CRY. I was impressed with what I
read and contacted Roy immediately. Here was an organisation that not only
supported research into Sudden Death Syndrome, but offered help and counselling
to families who had suffered from a young sudden cardiac death. I recalled how
bereft we felt when we lost our son, friends and neighbours rallied round and
offered a shoulder to cry on; but what we desperately needed was support from
another family who had lost a child in similar circumstances.
John and I made contact with Alison and offered our support to
CRY in any capacity whatsoever. We are not fundraisers but felt that we might
have other talents that could be utilised. Before retirement John worked as a
Maintenance Engineer, I was a Practice Nurse and did voluntary work as a
Bereavement Counsellor. We became involved in CRY’s early ECG Screening
Programme and have watched it dramatically develop over the years. When we
first became involved with CRY we said: ‘If we can help save one life it will
make it worthwhile.’ We did not realise that one life was going to be our own
grandson. One Sunday afternoon Catherine was visiting with her children. John
was doing maintenance work on one of the ECG machines. Usually, I used John as
a guinea pig to test the machine, but Cathie suggested that Stephen, her
15-year-old son might be a better proposition. I read the tracing which showed
an abnormal electrical pathway that implied Wolfe Parkinson White Syndrome.
Stephen was duly treated at St George’s Hospital, London and is now a fit and
healthy 20 year old.
Five years ago I was offered a place on the CRY Counselling
Skills Course and have recently completed the Theory. The counselling programme
offered by CRY can be extremely valuable. There is no magic formula to ease
grief but sometimes talking to an empathetic listener can help us to move
forward.
We feel that our involvement with CRY has helped to ease the
burden of our loss. We know that we are not alone in our grief and it is our
fervent hope that one day our Government will introduce mandatory screening for
school children as part of their School Medical Programme. Only through early
screening and research will tragedies such as ours be prevented. If we, through
CRY, Alison and the CRY team can help to bring this about then we will know that
our beloved son did not die in vain.
If you would like to contact one of our
Representatives or a Bereavement Supporter please call the CRY office at 01737 363222 or e-mail cry@c-r-y.org.uk
and we will put you in touch with someone who may be able to help
you.
|
Ursula Bick