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.gif) Sailing
and all watersports were Ewan’s passion. He had lived in New Zealand for seven
years, and had last been “home” to the UK in 2000. We had followed their trip
on the world map, and had had constant fascinating contact by email and post.
Saturday 12th April was to prove a very
different day. At 4.00 pm, my husband, Geoff, took a phone call from Lisa’s
mother, Sue, from New Zealand. Geoff handed me the phone, and I, assuming that
Sue was calling about the baby, said “Oh, isn’t it marvellous about the baby?”
Sue went very quiet, and said “I have some very sad news for you, Judie. Ewan
collapsed and died an hour ago.”
Any parent who has lost their child this way, will
understand the devastation. I can remember the excruciating physical pain, the
total unreality of the situation. My young, sporty, fit son – dead? We knew
that Ewan had had sinusitis in March, but that had been treated successfully.
Ewan and Lisa had been sailing with a small flotilla
of other yachts up the Red Sea, on their way to the Suez Canal. They were
against strong headwinds, and the decision was made at midday to anchor in a
cove.
The bigger boats had dropped anchor successfully,
but the two smaller boats, which included Ewan and Lisa had had to go further
into the cove, to find suitable holding ground. The anchor was heavy, Ewan had
no windlass, and had to manually drop and weigh anchor three times, until it
held.
They had a light lunch. Lisa went to rest in the
forecabin, Ewan remained reading. Lisa heard a noise, and found Ewan collapsed,
blue and not breathing. She attempted CPR, then called the others, by MAYDAY,
and Lisa and men from the other boats, including one who was an A&E nurse, tried
unsuccessfully to resuscitate Ewan.
The nightmare did not end there. Ewan’s body had to
be taken ashore to Sudan, where a sketchy and unsatisfactory post mortem was
conducted and the death certificate issued. This took several days and many
dollars. Sudan is a very poor and closed country. One of the yachties
accompanied Lisa to Sudan, others took over the delivery of the boat to Cyprus,
where it would be laid up. They collected money for Lisa, and cared for her in
her ordeal.
My eldest son, Liam and his partner Tracey, who live
in Greece, travelled to Cairo, the nearest place they could (they could not get
visas for Sudan), to meet Lisa, and to fly home to the UK with her and with
Ewan’s coffin. My husband, Geoff, my other son, Ben and his wife, Karleen, and
I met them at Heathrow, with Lisa’s Mum, Sue who had flown in from New Zealand.
The Foreign and Commonwealth Office and the New
Zealand Foreign Office were both helpful, giving Lisa’s parents and us sound and
practical advice. They also arranged the international funeral directors, and
liaison with a local firm, in Cornwall.
We received support from the Coroner’s Officer (whom
I already knew), and from the Coroner. The inquest was opened and adjourned to
allow Ewan’s funeral to take place in Truro.
We said farewell to our beloved Ewan at a ceremony
attended by his brothers, Liam and Ben, their families and many of his friends
from schooldays, and former work colleagues. After a few days, Lisa and Sue
left to go home to New Zealand, where another memorial service was held attended
by Lisa’s family and many of Lisa’s and Ewan’s friends - they were a highly
sociable and well liked couple.
I have few memories of that black time of grief.
But I heard about SADS on John Peel’s Home Truths. I went onto the internet,
discovered CRY, and after a few days, I contacted the office, and Alison
listened and helped me to start to get my head around the situation, to clarify
and formulate questions for the Coroner and the Pathologist. I found this
useful therapy in having something to focus on. Alison and CRY also gave
support to Lisa, in New Zealand, who was coping with the aftermath of Ewan’s
traumatic death a long way from home, dealing with officials in a third world
country, and being pregnant.
We waited 7 long months for the Inquest, and only
got it then because I demanded and persisted. Ewan’s and Lisa’s son, Soren had
been born in November and we needed to know if any cause of death had been
established. However, the second post mortem, carried out in Cornwall was to
prove inconclusive, since Ewan’s body had come home with no internal organs.
The pathologist recommended that the family be screened.
There are still days when I cannot believe that I
will never see my son again. My consolation is that he died a happy man, doing
what he loved most in the world, with the woman he loved and soon to become a
Dad.
I have been happy to support the very valuable work
that CRY does, and I was pleased to become the South West Representative. I am
looking forward to working with the County Representatives in raising awareness
about young sudden cardiac death and of the importance of screening.
It’s my way of saying thank you
to CRY.
If you would like to contact one of our
Representatives or a Bereavement Supporter please call the CRY office at 01737 363222 or e-mail cry@c-r-y.org.uk
and we will put you in touch with someone who may be able to help
you.
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