In
retrospect those were actions of a young, inexperienced, anxious mother, who
simply wanted the very best for her child. Most of those issues were quite
normal and could have been sorted by time with mum. All of it must have paid
off because my son developed into the most perfect teenager. At 6 feet 5
inches tall, my Ditto was the centre of my world, my pride, my joy. But he
was not only ours (i.e. my husband and me), Ditto was first grandchild to
his two grandmothers, first nephew to his aunties and uncles, so he was
spoiled rotten. At Christmas we used to spend hours opening his presents. I
used to save his presents in the loft allowing him to open two every month
and we always had enough presents to last us year round!
Ditto died
2 days after collapsing at his basketball practice on 22nd November 2010. He
was taken to Kings College Hospital in London, where he was in ITU. I can so
vividly remember those horrible 3 days but I want to remember the 6500 days
(roughly) that he was with us, and all the joy he brought us. His cause of
death was sudden cardiac death of a morphologically normal heart.
Ditto was
in 6th form and had just joined his new school in September before he
collapsed in November. He had already made his mark in this school. He was
setting up school newspaper; he was part of a Dragons' Den team with a
winning business idea; and helped organise black history month. He had
interviewed for the position of Head Boy and was totally excited about what
he was learning.
Socially
he was popular and he had lots of friends. Those young people have been so
active in trying and comfort us and from the stories they share. The
extent of the lives he touched continues to amaze me. His Facebook page
continues to be a testimony of his relationships as his friends use it to
express their loss and love for him.
For me, I
set up a memorial
website and whenever I remember good times I add it to the site. There’s
so much I want to do for my son – I want the world to know how amazing he
was and build on his legacy to bring out positive change in the lives of
others.
After his
funeral so many people said to us how they felt they had got to know him and
how his story had inspired them to do more with their lives. I spent so many
hours planning that service, hard as it was to do this for my own son, I had
to.
From the
hundreds of tributes we had from teachers, family members and friends
certain words kept creeping up time and time again …gentleman, intelligent,
unassuming, sensitive, well read, sensible, kind, sense of humour, caring.
That was my son.
Ditto was
an avid Arsenal fan and he used to spend hours explaining football
management strategies to me. He loved writing rap lyrics. At home, he loved
writing pieces and then just reading them again and again to me and his
little sister whom he adored. A career in sports journalism was what he was
working towards and he also dreamed of being a rapper! I share below the
some lyrics from his rap 'Aston Martin Dreams'.
It’s funny to achieve your
dreams
Life takes you through a
nightmare
My eyes on the prize
Excuse me if I stare they say
image is everything, so I’m trying to cap the right gear
I’m just trying to do it and
stay flat – Nike Air
Life’s my Aston Martin –
fuelled by my ambition
But I must have broke the
brakes because I see no speed limit
Aston Martin Cruzer – go high
to the Phoenix!
The sky is the limit – give
me a ticket coz I broke it
Success in my mind frame –
see the bigger picture
Now my money’s big but my
blessings even bigger
Put my heart in the game; my
love unconditional
Defintion of Swag – I’m a
Swaggasorus
but ain’t nobody like me so I
ain’t in that Thesaurus
I’m the prototype for
greatness – feel free to take notes
Success 101 – I’m the model
student
They say Cruzer don’t let the
change change you
Upgrade the life but let your
morals stay true
My heart
is broken, but with the help and understanding of so many, I am picking up
the pieces slowly to create a new mosaic in which my Dit is an integral
part, and where my beautiful 8 year old daughter, who works so hard to
comfort me, gets the love and attention she deserves.
I love you
Dit.
Mum xxx
(Regina Bash-Taqi)
|
We are in our early
days of interaction with CRY but so far just finding the website and
reading the stories of other mothers has been such a source of
comfort. When I read the stories, I began to recognise for the
first time other women who know exactly how you feel. I have read
the stories so much I feel like I know each of the remarkable young
people described. So that’s why I wrote my story. I hope it brings
comfort and maybe even a smile to another devastated mum who reads
it. |
