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One moment Ellis
Curran 28 was playing with his children, the next, without warning, he collapsed
and
died in his fiancée Ruby Adam's arms. Here she explains how she coped
How
did it all begin?
The moment I saw Ellis Curran, with his bright blue
eyes and long eyelashes, I thought, “He’ll do!". He was with his father,
waiting for his younger brother to come out from school while I was collecting
my son, Luke. We got chatting and I found out that he was in the Army and only 21,
eight years younger than me. I was really surprised, but a bit disappointed, too
- I never usually fell for men who were younger than
me.
But a few weeks later I was out in Worcester, my local
town, when I bumped into Ellis. He gave me a lift home and I agreed to a date. I
just couldn’t resist - he was gorgeous and so much fun to be with.
We were together from that night. Every evening he’d
drive from his Army base in Wiltshire to Worcester to be with me. He was the
perfect boyfriend - caring and kind - and always brought me little presents
such as a book of love poems or chocolates
What happened next?
Ellis left the Army two years later and moved into his own flat. His job as
a surveyor took him away a lot, but we spent every possible moment together. He
became like a father to my three children from a previous relationship -
Luke, then eleven, Hazel, nine, and Arron, seven. They loved him because he was
such fun.
One evening he marched to the middle of the dance
floor at our local club and sang out, “Ruby will you marry me?” Then he
produced a diamond ring. It was a complete surprise, but I said yes at once.
 I
fell pregnant and Ellis cried with joy when our son Jakob, now five, was born.
He was such a proud father, showing him off to everyone. Two years later we had
another boy, Rhys.
As they grew older Ellis had so much fun with them.
Whenever it rained he’d take them out to stamp in puddles and they’d all
come in
giggling and covered in mud. The idea was to get
married when we found a place big enough for us all. But months passed and we
had no luck. Finally Ellis suggested we get married before finding the house, as
we didn’t want to wait any longer.
The day after we decided Jakob came bounding in and
jumped into our bed. Rhys was already there. He and Rhys competed to see who
could kiss their dad the most times, laughing and shrieking. it was quite a
relief
when my son Arron, now 15, came in and dragged them both away.
Ellis gave me a ‘cuddle time’ look. I grinned
back. He went to the bathroom, then back in bed he put an arm around me. Next
instant he made what sounded like a snoring noise.
I was just wondering how he could have gone to sleep
so suddenly when his body started jerking violently. I was on my knees saying,
“What’s wrong?" But there was no answer. I screamed for Luke to call an
ambulance.
Meanwhile Ellis tried to prop himself up with his right arm and was sick. His
face went red and his eyes bulged, then he fell across the bed. With what seemed
a huge effort he turned to look at me one last time and flopped back, quite
still, with his face in the pillow.
What was the worst moment?
I turned him over and saw his lips had gone blue -
he wasn’t breathing. Luke came in and screamed for his friend George,
who’d stayed over the night before and had firstaid training. He began
chest compression while I gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Paramedics
arrived -
I’ve no idea how much
later -
and took
over. But they couldn’t revive him and rushed him to
hospital.
At Ronkswood Hospital a nurse told me. “Ellis is
very poorly.” Poorly didn’t mean dead, I thought to myself  and
it gave me some hope. But then a doctor came and said, “I’m very sorry.
There was nothing we could do. He had died before reaching hospital.” Ellis
was only 28. I could hear screaming and it was a while before I realised it was
me.
I couldn’t believe that an hour after playing with
his kids I was being told of his death.
What had happened?
Tests on his heart showed that he had suffered from a hereditary heart condition
called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Most sufferers die in childhood. The coroner
said it was important that EIlis's children were
tested to see if they had it. It can be picked up with an
electrocardiogram (ECG), which checks they have regular heartbeats, and it’s
easy to control with drugs. It’s thought to affect one in 500 people and is
also known as sudden death syndrome. If undetected it can cause the heart to
fill with blood until it bursts. Death is instant. I was desperately worried for
Jakob and Rhys and had them both tested. The consultant was concerned that Jakob
might have inherited the condition - they both have to undergo further tests
at Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital in London before we know for sure.
How did you cope?
I
don't know how I managed. A lot
of that time is a blur. At
Ellis’s
funeral I remember getting out of the car, but nothing
else. I'm told that
200 people were there and they couldn’t all get in to the chapel.
I became so depressed that I wouldn’t change my clothes for days. The doctor put me on the
antidepressant Diazeparn. I couldn’t
concentrate on anything, but the kids kept me going - they needed me.
At first Hazel couldn’t bear to be in the house with
Ellis not around. She went to stay with a friend for a few days. Jakob, who was
then nearly five, lost the use of his left leg the day after the funeral for
nearly a week. A specialist put it down to the trauma of his father’s death.
Rhys, now four, hasn’t really taken it in. He says he hopes Jesus will let his
daddy come home when he’s better.
What was the
turning point?
Reading
a letter on the problem page of my local paper. It was from the mum of an 11-year-old
boy who’d died from the same condition as Ellis. The reply mentioned a charity
called Cardiac Risk in the Young (CRY) and I got in touch. They’re trying to
raise awareness of the condition and want all babies to be tested for heart
abnormalities. Apparently Ellis could have been saved if he’d been diagnosed
even the day before his death.
I’ve got involved with the local CRY group and met
other people who have lost loved ones in the way I did - knowing I’m not
alone has given me strength. Our branch has raised the money to buy an ECG
machine so that all local children can be tested. For me the most important
thing is knowing that if my sons do have the condition they will be safe.
Now I’m doing all I can to help CRY. I’ve got a
reason to get up in the morning and give my children a normal life. I shall
grieve for Ellis for the rest of my life. But if I can help save the lives of
other children, he won't have died in vain.
Reproduced
courtesy of Best Magazine/National Magazine Company
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