She was always happy for us
to be wherever she went, never embarrassed and seemed proud to show her
friends how much we cared for her.
We were in bed when she came home
having got a lift from some older friends, making sure her friend got home
first. This was Steffani all the time, always considering others first. She came
home and went to bed. During the night she seemed a bit restless and out of
sorts. Irene checked that she was okay, made her comfortable and went back to
bed.
In the morning I was getting
ready to go out. Strangely there was no noise coming from Steffani’s bedroom.
Usually there would be the clicking of the keyboard from her computer, Bebo or
MSN chatting about what has been happening or catching up with the latest
gossip. Irene went upstairs to check and came back down saying there was
something wrong with her. I ran upstairs and found her still and motionless. She
looked asleep. As I looked at her lying there I knew that there was something
seriously wrong. I didn’t want to believe it but I could tell that she had gone.
A part of me died then too.
The post mortem showed no alcohol
or drugs which was no surprise to us but what was the silent killer that came to
our house and stole our wee girl? After a few weeks we were told that the cause
of death was fibrosis of the left ventricle. It was explained to us that
Steffani’s heart was like a sponge where all the holes were closing up and the
electrical impulses could not get through, they said it was like a switch going
off, she would have mercifully felt no pain.
We found CRY while we were
trawling the internet looking for answers as Steffani had never been ill. How
could this not have been picked up? Why didn’t we see anything was wrong? What
could we have done to prevent this? We spoke to Alison, who was so comforting
during those tragic first months when we had so many questions. She was the only
one we could turn to for answers. CRY held a bereavement support day at which we
met other families and friends who had lost someone young as well. The day was
very hard but it was also very comforting to be able to share our emotions and
feelings with people who were going through the same sad, devastating
experience. I believe that day helped everyone immensely.
Until then we had never heard of
SADS and were shocked to learn that at least 12 apparently healthy young people
were dying every week due to undiagnosed heart problems.
CRY is now part of our family.
Irene is training to become a bereavement counsellor while I have volunteered
to become an area representative in Scotland. I want to do something to help CRY
and raise awareness. CRY do so much to help others through their bereavement
support, raising the awareness of Cardiac Risk in the Young, supporting research
and screening youngsters to help prevent the loss of another young life.
We have had to find a “new
normal” for our family but it will never be the same without our little ray of
sunshine. We think of her every day.
Ian Broughton
