“Until
you become a parent yourself you have no idea of the adoring love that develops
for one’s own children” - they are truly the embodiment of one’s life.
On Saturday the 20th
August I arranged to play a game of golf at Newbury golf course. Just as I
arrived at the course my phone rang and it was my ex-wife. She appeared not
know what to say to me - she asked our friend and neighbour June (who was with
her) "Shall I tell him?"
Then she told me that Claire had
died in her sleep. I immediately drove to the house with my mind churning over
with the total disbelief of the situation. As I approached the house I was met
by a young policeman who explained that Claire was in her bed, he took me
through to the house and up the stairs to her bedroom.
As I entered the bedroom Claire was
laid back on her bed, her eyes wide open, looking up to the ceiling with her
arms and hands stretched out as if someone was calling her, she looked so at
peace.
The death of Claire was a happening
that gave us no warning or preparation, just devastation and an indescribable
pain that runs through my body each day of my life.
The days following Claire’s death
were simply a matter of self preservation and protecting and caring for those
loved ones around me. At that time there was no knowledge of why Claire had died
she was a perfectly healthy young lady.
We received many cards and letters
of sympathy from family, family friends and people who knew Claire well. One in
particular struck me, it was hand written, from a lady who had taught Claire
Fashion and Design at Bournemouth. In it she said it was a joy to teach Claire
as she came in each day with a big warm smile full of enthusiasm, the joys of
spring. So not only did she endear herself to us - her family - but to everyone
who met her!
Our doctor phoned me a few days
after her death and said to me that her death was probably one of those things
that was unavoidable.
The police who attended the house
following Claire’s death - both young and old - were very caring and supportive
and this was the case right up to the coroner's report. The coroner's report
held on the 16th November 2005 gave the verdict of Claire’s death as
Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.
A short time after the coroner's
report I spoke with my brother Simon who put me in the picture regarding a
farmer friend who had lost his son of 13 years of age who had died on the school
rugby pitch. He came back to me later to advise me that his farmer friend had
said that I should speak with CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) and in particular
Alison Cox, the founder of CRY.
This I did, and found Alison very
understanding and compassionate about my anxiety over Claire’s death. Alison
explained the situation regarding the number of young people dying of cardiac
related deaths and the fact that over past years this would have been put down
to natural causes. However, with the work that CRY was putting in to the
research in to cardiac related deaths in young people, explanations for the
causes of these deaths were beginning to surface.
Following my conversation with
Alison, arrangements were made for Claire’s heart to be sent to Dr Mary Sheppard
at the Brompton hospital, in order for her to carry out a further autopsy.
Subsequently, through CRY, myself
and my immediate family were referred to Professor McKenna at the London Heart
Hospital in order for the family to receive cardiac screening tests and for
myself a gene screening test. These tests are ongoing to prevent the possibility
of another young member of our family dying of cardiac failure.
Without the involvement and
support of CRY my family and I would have been in total limbo regarding Claire’s
death. CRY is trying to bring about total awareness of the possible cardiac
risks to young people.
Over the last 3 years since
Claire’s death I have experienced many things. The important one is that there
is nothing more important than life and love itself.
