Alan had a wicked sense of humour. He
could see something funny in ordinary / everyday things and he would make up
sayings which his friends can still remember. Alan never had a serious
girlfriend; he was a bit shy around girls, but never with his mates.
He was the comedian, he loved a few drinks and a good laugh and I've been
told he was a mean dancer!
There was four of us at home - me, David, Alan
and Liam, his nephew. Alan was more like his big brother, they were
always teasing each other but Alan could be firm with him when he was
annoying me. Liam idolised Alan.
For years, Alan had this dream to go to
Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. He arranged to go away in 2008 and
meet up with friends already touring. Then his Dad had a motorbike
accident which kept him off work for a while, so Alan decided to put the
holiday on hold for a year. He re-booked to go away on November 2nd
2009 and to return in February 2010. David and I were a bit anxious
about him going by himself, but what can you do? He's grown up and
wants an adventure. Alan's easy going so we knew he would make friends
along the way.
The excitement built up. A week before
Alan was due to go we went to the Trafford Centre because he was going to
backpack 'in style'. He got new clothes, trainers, expensive camera,
got his iPod sorted and got state-of-the-art headphones.
The day arrived - Alan was excited but also a
bit anxious. Can't blame him, I couldn't go to the other side of the
world by myself. Liam and I took Alan to the airport and we went to
have our tea in the restaurant. Liam got tearful and told Alan not to
go and I was feeling a bit the same. We walked to Departures and all
hugged and kissed. As Alan walked away he turned and waved and Liam
ran after him crying. That was the last time we saw him.
Alan arrived at Bangkok, Thailand, where he
planned to stay for a couple of weeks before moving on. He'd only been
there the one night when he rang to say Bangkok was horrible and he wanted
to come home. I think he got a massive culture shock. Anyway,
next day he arranged to move on to Phuket - a seaside resort which he said
was a lot better. He was staying at a beachside hotel and got talking
to another English boy, so he had company.
A couple of weeks later Alan decided to move to
the islands and travelled to Koh Samui, which he liked and rented a beach
bungalow. He made friends with a local Thai girl called Phom.
She had a scooter so she showed Alan the island and places to go at night.
Alan met up with more English lads and also a diving instructor from Sweden
called Daniel - they soon became good friends. Daniel was on the
island for a few days then going back to Koh Tao where he worked at a diving
school, so Alan decided to tag along with him. He stayed at Daniel's
place for a few days and then got himself settled at a hotel in a small
seaside village. Alan would ring us from his mobile phone twice a day,
every day and we would ring him straight back so he didn't waste his credit.
Well, he loved Koh Tao - said it was his island
paradise like in the film 'The Beach' with Leonardo Di Caprio. Alan
did a diving course and passed his first stage - he was made up. He
loved it there so decided to stay for a while. He said everyone in the
village knew him by name just like 'one of the locals'. Alan hired a
motorbike and discovered the island; went to beach parties and generally had
a fantastic time.
Christmas came and went and so did New Year.
In January, Alan met up with Billy - a lad from Skelmersdale where we live.
He was also travelling and his brother had told him that Alan was in Koh
Tao, so they met up and spent some time together - Alan showed him the
island. Billy told Alan he would be moving on to Cambodia with two
German girls so Alan decided to go with them as he had planned to go there
but didn't fancy doing it by himself. They went to a place called Sien
Reip. Alan still rang every day - I don't think he was as impressed
with Cambodia.
They'd been there about five days when Billy and
the girls asked Alan if he wanted to move on with them to see this village
which had been buried by the forest for years. Alan had fallen and
hurt his knee the night before and it hurt to walk, but he had got some
tablets for the pain so he said he would catch them up the next day.
I spoke to Alan on the Sunday, but on the Monday
morning he didn't ring as he normally did - nor at anytime throughout the
day. Tuesday morning I decided to go into work a little late so I
could catch up on housework.
About 10.30am, David came home. He had
found out that Alan had died; and it was awful the way he found out.
He had been ringing Alan's phone regularly since Monday because he had a bad
feeling that there was something wrong, as Alan never missed ringing.
Tuesday 9am - about 3pm in Cambodia - someone answered Alan's phone:
David: who are you? Why are you answering
my son's phone? Where is he?
Answer: I am the tourist police, your son
is at the police station.
David: Why is he at the police station?
Answer: He died.
David didn't know what to think. We hadn't
heard from any authorities - had someone stolen Alan's phone and it was that
person who was dead? He just didn't know what to do. The police
man gave David the number for the station, but David couldn't get much
information when he rang as English was not their first language.
David rang the Cambodian Embassy in London, but
got little help, so he rang the Foreign Office. They rang him back
within ten minutes to confirm that Alan had been found dead on the bathroom
floor in his hotel room and the information had been passed on to the
Skelmersdale police station for them to send an officer to our house with
the news. David told them to stop the police as he was on his way
home.
So we are sat in our kitchen. What do we
do?
Can't just go to Cambodia - you need permits
which takes time. The Foreign Office were on and off the phone trying
to get information. We decided to get in touch with Alan's holiday
insurance company but we didn't know who he had insured with. He had
taken out a cheap one on the Internet and took the policy with him. I
remember Alan paying for it with his newly-acquired cash card he'd got for
his holiday so we could put money in his account each week. I found
the bank statement and it had the name of his insurers so we got the name up
on the computer, found a phone number and rang them. David explained
the situation and they got Alan's details up on the screen. They told
us they would handle everything - they would get an international
undertakers to deal with it; they would liaise with the Foreign Office and
keep us informed on a daily basis.
It was about 2pm by that point - friends and
family had turned up and everyone was in shock. Liam was coming home
from school at 3.15pm - how do I tell him? My sister rang the school
and they said it would be best to pick him up early, so Lesley drove me to
school to collect him. I have never ever been in such a terrible
situation - Liam was absolutely distraught, said he never wanted Alan to go
away and we shouldn't have let him. Liam was so upset that we had to
keep him off school next day.
The Foreign Office were back in touch and we
informed them that the insurance company had undertakers making
arrangements. They said this was good as in Cambodia they can cremate
without asking permission. Alan was transferred to Bangkok where he
was embalmed and stored there until flight arrangements were made. In
all it took three weeks to get him home. The undertakers were
absolutely marvellous, they brought Alan right to the chapel of rest in
Skelmersdale. I have nothing but praise for their efficiency.
Alan was transferred to hospital for a post
mortem, as one had not been carried out in Thailand. The death
certificate said 'syncope' which means 'losing consciousness', which was the
conclusion of the police! The coroner gave an open verdict.
Because Alan had been embalmed and the time lapse was three weeks, anything
that could have been found wasn't there anymore. The one piece of
comfort was that there were no suspicious circumstances.
The funeral was arranged for the following week.
Barbara, our vicar, came to ours to find out a little of Alan's life, so we
invited Robert and Suzanne round to help us. The day of the funeral
arrived and the crematorium was packed. The music played going in was
Alan's favourites band, The Smashing Pumpkins. When the coffin was set
down after being carried by his friends, Liam had a rose so one of Alan's
friends picked him up so he could place it on top of the coffin. Then
all Alan's friends did the same which was very emotional. There were
tears but also laughter, as Barbara told everyone about some of the funny
and daft things Alan got up to with his friends when we went away on holiday
and left him in the house. Two of Alan's friends and Liam made
speeches and I read out a poem. Everyone came back to our local pub
and more turned up later. We gave Alan a good send off. I sent a
memories book around for his friends to write in, which I find good to read
and some bits make me laugh.
Alan never suffered with ill health. The
one thing that did bother him was chest pains he would suddenly get, which
happened over a few years. Alan was twice sent for blood tests and
once for an ECG but they came back clear. When the pains kept
occurring Alan would go back to the doctors again but he would be back at
the shop within 15 minutes. The doctors couldn't say what was causing
the pains and Alan was advised to cut down on his smoking and drinking.
In the end he rang a private health company to arrange a full scan.
They had just opened so they took his details and arranged to contact him
when they were fully operational. His appointment letter arrived two
weeks after his funeral.
This first year has been hard. I was in
shock for six months and I found it really hard to cry. It would upset
me that other people could cry but I couldn't. My sister Lesley was my
rock - she was always there for me; and Alan's friends have also been very
supportive. On Alan's birthday in May we all went down to the pub and
raised our glasses to Alan, then set off Chinese lanterns. I know Alan
was there with us, because he loved a good laugh and a few drinks.
This year we are going to do the same and its going to be our first try at
fundraising as well.
We all miss Alan - every day I think about him
and I know he will be waiting for me at the gates of Heaven, then he can
tell me about his adventures in Thailand.
I thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new,
I thought about you yesterday
And days before that too.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name
All I have are memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake
With which I'll never part,
God has you in his keeping
I have you in my heart.
Love you Al.
Mum
xxxx
