He was six feet three and handsome with looks to die for and a smile that
lit up a room. He was happy and settled in Hertfordshire surrounded by his
aunts, uncles and cousins. He had a very caring, loving and positive
attitude, always ready to lend a supportive ear to friends and family. He
was also the eldest cousin and all the younger ones looked up to him.
The police arrived sometime
after the phone call. However, they had no information as to what had really
happened. To add to the pain we had to wake Natasha to tell her that her
brother had died.
Nicholas and Natasha were
very close and he was very protective of his little sister. When we asked
him to come home and look after his sister for a week while my husband Dave
and I went on holiday, he was delighted to be able to spend some quality
time with her. It was also Natasha’s birthday during that week. We returned
from our holiday late on Sunday 9th January. Nicholas and I stayed up until
after 2:00am talking about his work, family and music. He was very keen for
me to listen to his latest CD.
On the Monday morning I said
goodbye to him and left for work. Halfway up the road I had an overwhelming
urge to hug him. So I turned the car around and came back to the house. When
I walked in the house his music was so loud he didn’t hear me enter his room
and when I called his name he almost jumped out of his skin. I hugged him,
told him I loved him then left for work.
Nicholas
had planned to get the 3:00pm train back to Stevenage, but knowing how laid
back he was coupled with his lack of urgency at times, I was sure that he
might miss his train. At 3:15pm I called his mobile just to check he was on
the train, we had a quick chat, I promised to call him later in the week,
told him I loved him and said goodbye. That was the last time we spoke.
Nicholas was born on the 21st
May 1979; he was a very good baby, always happy and never cried much. His
dad and I separated before I found out I was pregnant; I brought Nicholas up
pretty much on my own for seven years. Nicholas was about 7 years old
when Dave and I met. In his younger years, Dave and Nicholas had a
father and son relationship, but as he got older it became more like best
mates.
He left school with not very
good grades; he never seemed interested in school. His two passions were
football and music. His every waking moment was spent kicking a ball.
He was never without a pad or
pen, always scribbling lyrics; he would write on anything he could find.
Going through his things we found writing pads, receipts, bills and letters
with lyrics he had written on the spur of the moment.
He left Plymouth to live in
Hertfordshire because he wanted to be close to the London music scene
His passion for music was the reason he left Plymouth because he was unable
to find a studio where he could record his songs. The move to Hertfordshire
enabled him to establish himself. He produced, wrote and sang his own lyrics
and music with his two cousins.
On several occasions Nicholas
complained of indigestion type pain and palpitations and was always rubbing
the left side of his chest. He suffered mild asthma and chronic hay fever
and was always taking over the counter remedies which were known for causing
palpitations. His friends told us that he had blacked out on several
occasions and was taken to A&E by ambulance. Nicholas had only once casually
mentioned to us that he had fainted at work. I suggested he visited his GP.
When I spoke to him several days later he said his GP had told him he had a
viral infection and should rest.
We
left Plymouth at 5:00am to drive to Hertfordshire. During the four hour
drive my one thought was that we would get there and find that someone had
made a huge mistake. If it was true, then other people’s lives should come
to a standstill. Mine had, so why was everyone around me still carrying on
as normal?
When we arrived at the
hospital my sisters, nieces and nephews were all in the family waiting room.
The bereavement nurse took us in to see Nicholas who looked as though he had
fallen asleep with a smile on his face. I was shocked at how cold he was. I
remember thinking he is not going to be happy, he hates the cold. We had to
give the police a statement.
When we held the funeral
three weeks later the large church was packed. We asked that everyone
attending should wear a bright colour of their choice in celebration of
Nicholas’s life.
The post mortem failed to
come up with anything, other than he was fit. The coroner concluded that
because of the symptoms of palpitations, blackouts and a healthy heart,
Nicholas died of Long QT syndrome (LQTS) which is a disorder of the heart's
electrical activity that causes sudden death. The doctor who treated
Nicholas in A&E told us that even if Nicholas had an ECG there was no
guarantee that the tracing would have recorded the LQTS.
A CRY leaflet was included in
the post-mortem report. Reading it I was shocked to learn that 8 [at the
time] fit and healthy youngsters die in the UK every week from undiagnosed
heart conditions.
From the 13th January 2005 I
have lived in a world of sadness with a constant ache in my heart, most of
the time just going through the motions. I am exhausted from the effort of
trying to shake off the sadness; sometimes it’s difficult to even find the
motivation.
I think of him every hour of
every day. The hole in my heart will never heal.
Nicholas – “Forever Blazing
in our Hearts”.
Jenny Thomas.
