The paramedics and ambulance
were called but there was nothing they could do and we were told later at
his inquest in Walthamstow that he would barely have felt anything and that
he would have died within seconds.
Our daughter Rebecca contacted CRY who gave us so much
help and we were screened in Manchester in October and we were all found to
be normal. It is still, 14 months on, hard to believe how our happy, tall,
strong, healthy son set off to his friends' wedding so happily and died so
suddenly. There was absolutely no indication that there was anything wrong
with Matthew and we are grateful that Matthew packed so much into his 29
years.
He
lived life to the full, he thoroughly enjoyed his social life and loved his
job – he was a support worker for the National Autistic Society which suited
him down to the ground as he was such a loving, caring young man. He was
always ready with a hug and a kiss and to tell you how much he loved you and
of course we always made sure he knew how much he was so greatly loved. How
we miss those hugs and kisses, the sound of his voice and his ability to
wind you up and stand there with a big grin on his face and laugh at you.
He was always asking his younger sister Rebecca and her
partner Chris when they were going to make him an uncle and his baby niece
Katie is due any day now. He would have so loved to be an uncle but I am
sure he will be Katie’s guardian angel and Katie will be told all about her
special Uncle Matthew.
We will never forget that Saturday morning when the
doorbell rang and I answered it to find the police asking to come in. We
were told that Matthew had died but the policewoman could not give us any
further information as to how he had died and at that time in London there
had been a lot of stabbings so all sorts of terrible scenarios were running
through our heads.
Steven (Matthew’s Dad) managed to get in touch with the
Coroners Office that weekend and we were told about the possibility it could
have been SADS that killed Matthew but that a post mortem would have to be
held. Matthew died on the Saturday and it was late on the Wednesday evening
before he arrived back in Lancashire and we got our beloved son back.
On the Monday after he had died lots of Matthew’s friends
came to our house all talking about him and telling us tales of what he had
got up to – even making us laugh. I remember sitting next to my husband and
him saying to one of Matthews’s friends how good it was to hear how well
liked and popular our son was and his friend replied “not well liked - well
loved”. It was also amazing the amount of tributes and special messages
left on Matthew’s Facebook wall after he died, which still continue to this
day.
Matthew’s
funeral took place on the 3rd June, the crematorium was packed
and people were standing outside to pay their last respects. Eddie and
Matthew’s university friend Richard, a fellow northerner with whom Matthew
became the best of friends at university, spoke so movingly at his funeral
with their tributes to Matthew.
Matthew loved his music and Eddie and Rebecca chose the
music to be played at the funeral service. Matthew always had his earphones
and his iPod on and we used to have to wave and jump up and down to get his
attention but I suppose many parents can relate to that.
We travelled to Walthamstow at the end of July for
Matthew’s inquest where we were told that Matthew had died from natural
causes - Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. It is so cruel that you only find out
about this silent killer when it is too late.
In December 2008, Matthew’s Nana and Granddad celebrated
their 60th wedding anniversary and instead of presents they
requested that guests donated to CRY. We (Matthew’s Mum and Dad) and three
of Matthew’s aunties took part in the Church and Oswaldtwistle Charity Walk
in May and on the same day his cousins Daniel and Rachel along with Rachel’s
husband Malcolm took part in a 10km fun run in Blackpool.
We also held the Matthew Steven Wallbank Memorial Dinner
Dance at the Dunkenhalgh Hotel to raise funds for CRY and recently Matthew’s
Grandma has died and his Granddad asked for donations to CRY instead of
floral tributes. Once all the money has been gathered in we will be handing
over cheques in Matthew’s memory in excess of £7100.00.
Matthew’s friend Eddie, together with his other friends
Nick, Mike, Richard, Paul and John are undertaking a 6 peaks and a bike
challenge in September to raise money for 4 worthy charities one of which is
CRY in memory of Matthew. (www.madness4charity.co.uk)
We know that Matthew chose his friends wisely and this
has never been more apparent than in the weeks and months since his death.
One of his friends, Iain, travelled from the United States to be able to
help carry Matthew’s coffin along with 7 of his other friends at his
service.
Our
lives, like all these other stories on this website, have changed forever.
We are now walking a different path without our wonderful son. Nothing
prepares you for the loss of your precious child and the pain does not
diminish.
We have our lovely daughter, who misses her big brother
so much, and soon a granddaughter and we are so thankful we had 29 special
years with Matthew and 29 years of wonderful memories – we dare not look
ahead to the years without him but instead try to focus on the years we had
with him. One day we will be re-united and until that day we know he will
walk beside us every step of the way.
You are, Matthew, a treasure beyond measure. God bless
sweetheart.
