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I couldn't believe what the cardiologist was
telling me and, at first, I thought he was being overly dramatic.
After all, I was the fittest person I knew, an
international athlete, who'd represented England in the 400m hurdles, not
only at the Commonwealth Games in Manchester two years earlier in 2002, but
also Great Britain at the European Championships in Munich the same year.
Surely if I had a heart problem, I'd have
collapsed by now? But, as top cardiologist Dr Nigel Stephens warned
me, I had to stop running straight away and would need further tests, the
seriousness of my condition slowly sank in.
Everything I'd ever worked for had suddenly fallen
apart.
I was suffering from what's commonly referred to
as Sudden Death Syndrome, a term used for various causes of cardiac arrest
in young people.
Weeks of tests followed, and it was discovered I
had a less-fatal problem than initially suspected, but the abnormality of my
heart rhythm still meant I could no longer take part in any track and field
events.
I was devastated.
My heart was beating very quickly at times,
followed by a very slow beat, and it was this which was the worry, because
it was possible the slow beat could have stopped my heart, resulting in
cardiac arrest.
It was so obvious to the cardiologist watching the
ECG as I ran on the treadmill, and yet each time, he asked, "Can you feel
that?", I couldn't.
He and his team run the CRY - Cardiac Risk in the
Young - Centre for Sports Cardiology at the British Olympic Medical Centre
at Northwick, Park Hospital, in North London.
Heart conditions like this aren't immediately
obvious to the sufferer and, unless you're and athlete pushing your body to
extremes beyond limits normally requested, abnormalities aren't always
discovered.
The average person could go about their daily
lives oblivious to the fact they have a condition that's potentially so
life-threatening.
For me, it was only when my performance had begun
to falter in 2004 and I was finding it harder to push myself and run times
I'd easily run in previous years, that I decided to have myself checked.
"The first course of action was to take medication
for the heart rhythm, so two drugs were prescribed for around eight months,
which slowed me down and, as well as making me feel tired, they also made me
feel as if I might black out if I stood up too quickly.
The weren't helping, but they had to be
ruled out before an operation.
I was finally booked in for radiofrequency
ablation, which kills the dead tissue in the heart.
I have no idea how long my heart had been in this
state as, until my first consultation, it had never been checked.
The keyhole surgery in 2005 took place under a
local anaesthetic, but it wasn't painless and, as the dead tissue was burned
away, it felt as if my chest was on fire.
Six weeks later, a check-up revealed it had been
completely successful and, although this might sound strange, when I was
told I had healed, it was almost as fear-provoking as the moment when I was
told I was ill.
Suddenly, I had to make a decision about whether
or not to start running again, as there was no excuse not to.
The fear of becoming ill again and maybe
collapsing did haunt me for a long time, and I found my desire to compete
had gone - maybe because I didn't feel athletics were worth dying for.
"But I still had a huge void in my life, and in a
way, I'm still trying to fill that.
Initially, I quit the track and concentrated on my
marketing carer.
However, I couldn't get athletics out of my system
so, at the start of the following year, I began training again with my
athletic club, Woodford Green.
The first time I ran around the track, I really
felt I was home, and it was great.
I've continued every since, and last July, ran in
the 4 x 400m relay for my club.
It may have been my slowest time every, but I
still enjoyed myself and was very proud.
Although I'm no longer an international athlete,
I'm now competing at club level in national championships.
And, for now, I'm content to keep enjoying it and
not take it too seriously.
I'm still only 28, which is at the older end for
international level, but I haven't ruled this out completely.
The charity CRY is one I've been involved with
ever since I was first diagnosed, and I'm happy to support their work
whenever I can.
Raising awareness of these conditions has never
been more important.
With the current trend for so many people taking
up running and entering local 5K and 10K races, we really need to make sure
there's an efficient screening programme in place.
People need to be made aware that, for £35 they
could have a simple check to detect for any potential heart problem.
The reality of the problem simply isn't hitting
home because people always assume something like this only happens to other
people.
But as I know to my cost, that simply isn't
true.
As told to Suzanne Roberts
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