Hari Raman

hariraman1October 15th to October 18th 2013 – the most traumatic days.

On October 15th, my 23 year old son Hari had a sudden cardiac arrest due to a relapse of TB Meningitis. I was at the hospital with my husband and within 10 minutes Hari was shifted to the ICU to revive his heart. After 6 shocks his heart revived but his brain stopped.

He was on a ventilator for 3 days but it was just a support for him to breathe. He never opened his eyes. 18th October, his ventilator was removed and that evening was the last time I saw him before his final journey.

It is a case where 1 or 2 people in a lakh get a relapse of this type of meningitis. My son Hari was the unfortunate one.

He was a gem of a boy who was on the threshold of youth waiting to explore the world.

He was an electronic engineer working with a multi-national company and was 3 weeks into his employment at the company. He had also been accepted for a Masters Degree program in Illinois this year.

He was a lover of music and songs and a keyboard player. He was my future, my warrior, my favourite and kept me laughing with his infectious laugh. He always said “Mummy I’m fine, don’t worry about it”.

The last words he said were “Mummy, let me sleep, I’m feeling sleepy”. Just 5 minutes after that I tried to turn him on his left side but his eyes were red, staring at me, and he had bitten his tongue. I knew I had lost him.

My son; with him, everything of mine went – happiness, peace of mind, joy and laughter are all of the distant past for me. My heart is shredded into pieces and the grief in me is something which cannot be explained. Tears fall and I am helpless.

I want him back, can God give him back to me? But I have to live for my daughter’s sake and for my husband. I just wish my last breath comes soon so that I can join my Hari.

Sheela Raman