It’s now been eleven months since our daughter Kay left us. We do not have to tell you how we feel, only that she along with her surviving sister Kelly, was one half of our life’s work and soul purpose for living. We still do not understand why she died save the medical verdict was myocarditis, underlying cause unknown.
She passed away on the 26th April 2004 one day before her 19th Birthday. The previous evening was a celebration with her friends for her birthday when she returned home just before midnight. Five hours later she collapsed on her bed and died instantly without warning. Medical reports indicate no alcohol, and no drugs – cause of death unknown and all our efforts to revive her were futile.
People around us have been fantastic. With their support and we have spoken to Granville Staff and Ursula Bick of the CRY organisation, which does help. It also takes a great deal of effort to move forward, and this we know would be Kay’s aspiration too.
As parents we can be biased, but Kay was working at university on Law and without doubt had a bright future. This is where the feeling of having lost something special comes to mind – that a life of expectancy and pride in your child’s achievements has been torn away. The emptiness left is an abyss which you think can’t be filled. All we have of her now is paper with words, pictures and our memories.
Kay would not want this, she would not want to be remembered in this way and for us to wallow in self pity, and she would want action not words. To this end we have, with the help of many friends, organised what we hope will be the first of many events in the memory of Kay. The proceeds of this event, £1359.00p, has been donated to CRY into The Kay Wilson Memorial Fund.
The event was a dance revue at the local City Technical College that Kay attended prior to university where she gained her International Baccalaureate Diploma. The dance school which organised this was the Whiteman Dance Academy, which Kay attended for some eight years prior to her passing.
As Kay’s parents we were of course very proud of her and all the hard work she did, and the feeling of loss is still a “chasm” at this moment in time. However we have been astounded at the outpouring of respect for a person of this age, not just by her peers but by local community at large. Her college has put up an annual award – “The Kay Wilson Award for Outstanding Commitment and Dedication” – for its post-16 students, in memory of Kay. The university have posthumously awarded Kay a “Higher Certificate of Education in Law” for honours level course work achievements in her first year at university. All this makes us so proud to have called her “our daughter” and she for us will always be “Simply the Best”. We must however never loose sight that Kay was fifty percent of our reason for living and that her surviving sister Kelly has gone through and is still going through the same agonies every day. Kelly has been our rock, and although has had a rough passage this last year, she too has been outstanding in her support within the family unit, but we will make this promise to Kay’s memory. She will no longer be a solicitor, be married, be a friend, or have children and be a comfort to us in our old age. She will however be forever young, and be remembered in name as a fund raiser, such that as many families as possible do not have to bear the loss we experience now. To this end our next event is a 7-a-side football tournament planned for the 28th May 2005 where we hope to raise more funds for the CRY organization.