Monday 11 July 2005 was the worst day of my life. As I stood in the flat I thought this wasn’t happening to me, it must be a dream. As I waited in the hospital I remember thinking everything will be ok. Then I watched as the doctor approached me and I knew by the expression on his face that it wasn’t going to be good news. I felt numb.
All week, silly things have been going through my mind. I keep thinking what will I say when new people I meet ask me “have you got any brothers or sisters?” How would I answer them?
I am a great believer in fate, and that things happen for a reason. This last ten days have made me question this belief. But if there is some sort of sense to this tragedy, it would be that Martyn moved up with me so that we could get to know each other before Martyn left this world.
When we were going through Martyn’s life the other night, I was asked if I was aware of anything funny things that Martyn did through his teenage years. I was stuck for words. Because he was such a character, I knew there would be many events that we could pick from. But personally, I could not think of one because I do not feel I knew him as a teenager, just an annoying brother who irritated the hell out of me. So, this is why I believe fate played a hand in Martyn moving up with me, so I could get to know him as an adult, and boy did we have some fun, fights, laughter and tears.
Whilst living in Swindon, Martyn became my sheep. We did everything together. I would say to him that I wish we wore signs saying that we were brother and sister, so people wouldn’t mistake us as boyfriend and girlfriend when we were out. We just laughed hysterically and it became a running joke from that point on.
On the other hand Martyn could be annoying. There were times when he would just sit around all day watching TV and the flat would be in a mess and I would say to him to clean up. If I got a £1 for every time I heard “in a minute”, I think I would be a millionaire by now.
Because Martyn was such a character there were many facets to his personality, here are a few that come to mind….. funny, moody, kind, lazy, polite, irritating, thoughtful, careless, happy and jovial. Martyn was never aggressive, arrogant or inconsiderate to those he loved and liked. Martyn wore his heart on his sleeve.
Martyn was never scared to show his feelings, sometimes a little too much. One memory comes to mind above the rest. It was mum’s birthday and we were going out for a family meal. Martyn and his girlfriend at the time, Sam, had a row. He spent the entire meal sobbing and breaking his heart. As young love usually goes, they had made it up by the end of the night!
If I could sum Martyn up in one word, it would an ‘entertainer’! In everything he did he would entertain. Whether it be when he was joking or when he was moody, he always entertained us. This is what I shall miss the most. It was never a dull moment when Martyn was around.
So in answer to my original question when people ask me have I got any brothers or sisters, I shall answer….I have two brothers. Nick, who is 28 and Martyn, who is 19.