What happens when your best friend dies suddenly? Kate Clarke talks to a Swansea man about his determination to never forget a sports-mad mate who dropped dead after a five-a-side soccer kick-around last year.
When Lee Parkin and his mates get together for a drink at the weekends, when one of the gang gets hitched, or when they head out to Spain for one of their regular golf jaunts there is something missing, an empty seat they can’t ignore.
Lee’s friend Mark Young died suddenly in May 2007 as he left the pitch after a five-a-side kick-about at Play in Llangyfelach.
An undetected tear in Mark’s main aortic valve meant friends, staff and medics who rushed to help the fit 34-year-old, were fighting a losing battle to get his heart pumping again.
He left behind his wife, Emma, who was eight months pregnant at the time, and a two-year-old daughter he doted on, Ella.
For Lee and his close-knit group of mates, Mark’s loss was devastating, and tough to accept.
But they set up the Mark Young Memorial Fund in his name, raising £42,000 for screening for the killer condition, with the charity CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young.)
Lee says it is a way to keep in touch with the friend they have lost.
“I had known Mark for 19 years – we met at the HSBC call centre in Llansamlet, where he was a manager, and where I still work.
“He was such a popular guy. I know everyone says that when they lose someone, but he really was. Everyone at work liked him and we were a close group of friends.
“I was an usher at his wedding to Emma, in August 2006, and a lot of us who were there – the other ushers and the best man have been fundraising for CRY since he died.”
It is testament to Mark’s popularity that his former employer, HSBC, have matched the group’s fundraising efforts pound for pound, and Lee says he hopes the cash can prevent more deaths.
“The money helps with mobile screening units at the university of Glamorgan in Pontypridd, where people can be tested for free, and we are hoping to set up a screening clinic in a gym in Swansea in June, thought the details have still to be confirmed.
The shock of seeing fit, healthy and young people fall victim to this stealthy killer means cases like these often make the headlines, with losses such as Terry Yorath’s son, Daniel, footballer Mark Vivien Foe, who died at the African Nations Cup, and Motherwell’s Phil O’Donnell and Espanol captain Dani Jarque, being high profile cases in recent years.
And Lee, from West Cross in Swansea, says the number of such deaths does seem to be on the increase.
“It is hard to know how many die of undiagnosed heart conditions such as this because of the way post mortems are carried out, but two years ago when Mark died I know CRY estimated the figure at eight, and now they say 12, so it does seem to be happening more often.
“And it is such a hard thing to accept, because you can’t prepare for it.”
Lee says when he first heard Mark was gone he couldn’t grasp the news at all.
“Someone telephoned me on the night it happened, and I said ‘don’t joke about something like that’, I really didn’t believe it.
“It wasn’t until I spoke to Emma, I realised it was actually true. He was really gone.”
“Lee says the way Emma has dealt with the loss has given him strength, and being able to do something concrete to make sure he will be remembered in his hometown and beyond is a comfort to him too, as well as to Mark’s mother and father.
“Emma has been amazing, I don’t know how she copes, especially with Ella and Mia.
She is so strong. I know she has a box of Mark’s belongings which she takes out and shows to Ella.
“And Ella is always talking about her dad.
“Ella was only two when Mark died, so I don’t know what she remembers, but she talks about him all the time. He was a great dad.”
Lee and more than 25 volunteers will mingle with the crowd at the Liberty Stadium during the Wales v Sweden match on March 3, collecting for the fund, and he urges people to give, to help make screening a priority in Wales.
“My favourite memory of Mark is when a group of us played golf at The Vale of Glamorgan a few months before he died.
“He was very stubborn and very, very competitive, and he had to take a difficult shot across a lake onto the green. He kept taking the shot and losing the ball, taking the shot and losing the ball, and he wouldn’t look at us.
“He just kept doing it. He must have lost 12 balls in the take that day.
“But one of the things I regret is that I wasn’t there with him on the day he died. I played in the five-a-side team, but I was getting married the following week and the honeymoon was booked.
“I didn’t want to risk breaking my leg before the honeymoon, so I wasn’t there. But if one person in Wales is saved because of Mark’s fund then this is worth doing.
In addition to the collection at the Liberty Stadium there will be a fundraising dinner at The Village Hotel on May 28, For details contact Mark at Leeruth@btopenworld.com
At least 12 young people die suddenly each week in the UK of cardiac abnormalities – sudden death syndrome of sudden cardiac death.
There is a simple way to diagnose most cardiac abnormalities. this is by having an ECG test. Results should be read by a cardiologist. If there has been a young (under 35) sudden death in the family, the family is entitled to be screened on the NHS.
It is estimated that approximately 80 per cent of all non-traumatic sudden deaths in young competitive athletes are due to inherited congenital structural of functional cardiovascular abnormalities.
the majority of young sudden cardiac deaths are due to inherited forms of heart muscle disorder and irregular heart beat. Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is the most common of these condition.
In the UK unexplained sudden death – where there is no cause identified – is frequently classified as due to natural causes. Experts believe that the majority of these deaths are due to Sudden Death Syndrome or Sudden Cardiac Death. Until the law is changed and coroners have to refer hears on to specialists the true statistics cannot be found.
